XVIII. IFOTES Congress – Vienna 2010

Exploring alternatives to violence - Listening for peace

A realistic utopia?

Who among us has not already insulted someone or been insulted? Who has not hit out at somebody or at least felt like doing so?

We have all experimented with violence. It makes us choke, it follows us remorselessly. Is it not our mission as a conscientious human being to seek to diminish it? Fewer stressful situations and less aggression. Less self-destruction, less cruelty and fewer injustices. More respect, more trust and self-confidence. A life where many more things can be shared.

To try to totally eliminate violence from our behaviour is obviously utopian but I sincerely believe that the task of transforming it is a realistic one. This is the conviction which stands at the roots of this congress: that we can grasp existing alternatives to reduce everyday violence. Let us be afraid neither of words nor of our dreams; we are faced with a major challenge in the 21^st century, and that is to put all our energy and know-how into reducing violence in and around us.

This congress aims to combine all efforts which will lead us in this direction.

Let us use what we have experienced, what we have felt, what we have witnessed. Let us pool this information and make use of it powerfully.

A changing world

The last two decades, including the symbolic passage of the year 2000, have seen much growth in the fields of the democratisation of personal development and the emergence of emotional health; these issues have come to the fore and have opened the way to unprecedented awareness.

A different world is emerging. A profound change is taking place which calls for wisdom, and a drive to bring together all our resources, to put everything we have, into fulfilling our highest dreams in the most realistic way. We are living in an era of change which encourages a sense of responsibility and values. Awareness is growing globally on the ecological front and we are constantly reminded of the importance of relational ecology to build a peaceful world. We must also remain lucid; individualism is very much alive in every corner of the earth. Nevertheless we have proof of the value of individual responsibility, and concrete initiatives to help on a collective basis are on the increase. Let us try and multiply these tendencies.

Violence exposed

When we ourselves deplore the damage caused by violence, we often like to refer to other people’s violence, violence in the outside world. We rarely think of the violence that each individual inflicts on his equals. We hide away from the violence inherent in every one of us, either through shame or ignorance. Is any individual aware enough of the violence inherent in his or her behaviour?

During the congress, we’d like to look at three different dimensions of violence under these headings:

a. in relation to oneself

b. the impact of social structures on humans

c. in relations with others

We shall put emphasis on violence at the heart of one’s relation to oneself. Once we can recognise the seeds of violence deep within ourselves, it leads us to a sense of responsibility which is the real key to universal change.

We shall clearly explain the different social structures which can lead to isolation, fear and depression. We shall lend an attentive ear to our own judgements and transform them constructively to ease change in our social world.

We shall pay special attention to behaviour which isolates us from other people. We shall explore the shifts of consciousness, and then the attitudes to adopt, that facilitate communication and management of our emotions in our relations with others.

Listening: an alternative to violence.

Simply listening. Listening effectively. Being empathic with ourselves and with another’s distress. Hearing his grief, his confusion, his revolt, sometimes his shame and often his despair. Listening carefully in order to rebuild dignity in these people who have found the strength to call up. The listeners in our emotional support centres do an impressive job all over the world and are in daily contact with violence at the heart of relational conflicts. The quality of empathy offered to the callers by the people doing this job is of paramount importance. These listeners put everything into the job they do. Sometimes they find they have to deal with violence directed at their own person, either through verbal aggression, insults, provocation or threats. This requires a lot of self-control in order to canalise the violence and use it positively to reach a level of respect and mutual understanding. We shall hear volunteers from more than twenty countries bear witness to this subject.  They will share their thoughts with us on the best ways of keeping calm and creating peaceful relations.

A utopia of ongoing peace

Over the three-day period, practical experiences and projects of alternatives to violence will be presented and well-known international speakers will give us their vision and expertise on violence in three categories.

The experiences gathered in our emotional support centres represent a valuable resource, which can be shared. The training of our volunteers and their apprenticeship in the world of empathy changes the quality of their own lives. It also brings to light the need to strengthen that apprenticeship in a general education in the prevention of violence everywhere.

I sincerely believe that a less violent society will be a society where children are taught at school the basics of human relations. An education based on an ability to listen to others, on empathy, social and emotional skills.

To have good relations with oneself and others in a highly demanding social world is not an easy task. We can learn it, little by little. It’s a question of social skills, courage and perseverance.

Does not every human being express the sincere wish to be aware of the best in himself?

The congress is taking place in Freud’s own town. This must be symbolic! From psycho-analysis, and then from humanistic and behavioural psychology - such great revelations have been brought in the past. More recently, the discoveries of quantum physics have invited science and spirituality to meet. Humanity never stops trying to dig deeper, to find any possible innovation, for living in peace; a longer-lasting peace.

Mark Milton
IFOTES Chairman

 Co-Sponsors